i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
