New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
