Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
