Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
True strength comes from lack of pants
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
he just fucked me for my cheese..
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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