rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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