Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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