I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
