...so i touched it.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
