Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Randomize
