Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
