theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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