He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize