that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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