the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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