Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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