Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
