he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
