Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
