I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
