I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Everyone says I win the strip club
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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