I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
