just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
