Ambien. No doubt about it.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
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My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
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Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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