I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
