its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
