Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize