omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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