Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
