i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
