you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Houston, we have a blender
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
