how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
