I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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