fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize