oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
