When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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