They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
