He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize