Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
