I just made out with a guy for $7.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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