I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
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