you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
