alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
