Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
