I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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