My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I have already put on my inside pants.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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