I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
