I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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