Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Even the bartender felt bad for me
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
