the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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