shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
