if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
