There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
