Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
