you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
