Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Randomize
