I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
