What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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