We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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