You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
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dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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